“My stomach hurts. My neck hurts. Everything hurts. … (I need) water or something. Please. Please. I can’t breathe, officer. … I cannot breathe. I cannot breathe.” That was followed by more groaning. -George Floyd
By Jarrel Phillips
I’m tired and I just woke up. The police killed another person. Yup…Black. I’m not surprised. I’m exhausted. I’m concerned. My concern is not on what he did to have the police there. My concern is how their authority can overwrite our lives cutting it short due to their own negligence and value for “people like us.” I’m concerned for those who look like him. Like me.
“Well, when police get mad they have a badge and a gun.” – James Baldwin
Heroes? Upstanding? Dutiful? Civil servants? Agents of the law? Here to protect. Here to serve? Answers are not enough. They just become rationale and justifications without proper action.
I know that I’m too used to hearing this shit. I know they will justify it. I know this will happen again. I know many reading posts like mine will rationalize the incident for their own mental, emotional sake. I know many will deny it b/c it doesn’t affect them and they don’t really care. I know he will be villainized and held accountable even in death. And I know the police (not just the individual, but as a whole) will not receive the same level of scrutiny or accountability.
I’m tired of these post. I hate them. And I never watch the murderous executions that they catch on film. I don’t think it is healthy and would drive me insane. Seeing the headlines is more than enough. I’ve seen police abuse their power. I’ve experienced their harassment. I’ve had one hold a gun to my had because he was extra emotional. I once had a cop who pulled me over almost every day for a month just to bother me. He called it tradition. I have been lined up against walls and threatened to be detained for days if I didn’t just comply and give them my information and tell them if I had unique marks or tattoos on my body. They would say things like, “you didn’t do anything, yet. This is for when you do.”
Some people don’t get it though. They think were making it up. Keeping it alive. perpetuating this division. Operating within a limited point of view that keeps us stuck in that box. But I broke my boxes a long time ago. I post to stay out of them and to create the reality I want to see.
I share for those who cant and for whomever is ready to listen. Majority of my posts are for fun and laughs. To uplift the spirits of whoever sees it because that’s what we all need sometimes as humans. For black people, I do the same and more. I post to counter these narratives of despair.
Today I woke up and I had to post this because this is a reality, whether I like it or not. So that these police and, more importantly, this society can take some accountability, which begins with awareness (even if it has to be baby steps). Unless it gets shared it’ll be as though it never happened like all the other incidents that probably happened yesterday that aren’t receiving coverage.
The media or social media did not make this exist or matter. It already did. Coverage or not, this is happening. It’s been going on before I was born and my parents were born.
Like Emory Douglas said:
“You still have the police murders. That’s at the core of the Black Lives Matter. Even before it was called Black Lives Matter, black lives was mattering.”
This is not new. If you are wasting any ounce of time to rationalize any of this then you are apart of the problem. And if you can’t stand my “Black posts” quit smiling in my face or selectively liking my posts. Unfortunately, I’m talking to some of you Black people and P.O.C’s as well.
So many people talk about taking this opportunity to reset, re-pattern, re-prioritize, de-clutter, and etc… If this society was a person they’d need to do a whole lot of that. But it’s not. It’s me. It’s you. And we can’t work on anything we won’t acknowledge or recognize. I post what resonates with me in one way or another. And, I post to create balance within an imbalanced society that seems comfortable and content in its dis- ease. Plus, I enjoy a good laugh and I love to feel inspired. I hope everyone gets their daily dose today and passes it on. We need more of it. Anyways, I’m done preaching to the choir because you already get it, right?
I’m gonna go get inspired, be inspiring and laugh at some dumb shit. Cuz I can’t find the irony in this. I need a breath of fresh air and I’m gonna get mine. A simple reminder for all of us as we carry out our day:
“Slow down. Inhale peace. Exhale worry.”
Love to all of you. Black men especially,